Two words that get said sometimes are “Heat Culture.” “Heat Culture” started as a somewhat naturally occurring idea held by some people that players would end up in the best shape, reach their peak value, or become their best version of themselves in the Miami Heat system. It invoked something when you said it. Then some people somewhere thought they were very smart and said “Oh. This thing has meaning. Let’s extract that from the world and turn it into money for us.” Time passes, eventually “Heat Culture” turned into branding the team could sell on anything.

But, for some people, what Heat Culture used to mean still means something. They still hold on to the faith that this management tree, this coaching system, this training staff can see someone, anyone, even Hassan Whiteside to their greatest potential success. Anyone. Anyone at all. Surely anyone.

This is Kira Lewis Jr. Over the last couple years, he has been fringey. He has been a fringe factor in trades, on the fringe of NBA rosters, and many of those rosters are on the fringes of being an NBA team. But before all that, he was best known for being on the New Orleans Pelicans. During his time on the New Orleans Pelicans he was both on the New Orleans Pelicans and on the New Orleans Pelicans, but the thing that stands out most was how he just managed to be on the New Orleans Pelicans for so long.

And that’s about it. Maybe things can change.

What is the Miami Heat’s plan for Kira Lewis Jr?

I’m the perfect person to ask because I DMed Pat Riley’s burner with my burner on BlueSky and told him exactly what to do.

Step One: Have him play in summer league. I can tell they’re following my plan because this is what I said to do.

Step Two: Make him work out and stuff, but do it better. My recommendation here, generally, was for the Heat to do what they normally do but this time improve it. I don’t know how, but it’s weird no one ever thought to tell anyone else this.

Step Three: Post about progress over the course of the summer. Even if it’s a lie, just go ahead and say whatever. That’s what people do now. Is it moral? No. But will you get away with it? Have you seen what happened to Twitter? Do you know what Grok is? You tell me.

Step Four: Elimination of all distractions such as pleasure, family, and social contact until training camp starts so as to live the monastic, summer life that some fans seem to expect from players. Those fans are me, and I am right.

Step Five: Just go out there and do it, man. The proof is in the playing. I almost proofread the entire thing before sending it. Anything that looks like a hole is purely ornamental.

Cool.

Anyway, if the plan goes wrong, that’s just an indication that the plan is right and must be done harder.