Amos Heller has spent more than 15 years sharing a stage with Taylor Swift as a member of her band, the Agency. As the group’s oldest active member, the bass player has seen the musician through every tour, from her first arenas on the Fearless tour through her first all-stadium tour with Reputation. But it was the Eras Tour that felt most transformative for him.

“I feel so much love and gratitude to be a part of this community, which I’ve been privileged to watch grow into so much more than a collective of people who like the same songs,” Heller wrote on Instagram. “The shooting stars I shared the stage with, a lifelong fellowship.”

The reflective post looked back on the nearly two years span during which the band lived and breathed all things Eras. The tour concluded this past weekend after 149 shows with more than 10 million tickets sold. As Heller shared, they saw the inside of a lot of airports and hotels, endured more than enough jet lag, and sacrificed time at home with their families to bring this career-spanning performance to life night after night.

Heller thinks it was all worth it. In a note to Swift, he wrote, “You command so much respect and admiration from everyone who’s fortunate enough to add their effort to yours. Your blend of focus, heart, stamina and joy calls forth the best of everyone around you. Thank you for trusting me with my part of your vision. It was the ride of a lifetime. I love you. Long live.”

The instrumentalist compared the feeling of stepping foot into those stadiums every weekend to a gladiator making his way into a colosseum. “I’ve emerged changed. As a player, performer, person, partner,” he wrote. “Backstage after the final curtain I let myself sink to my knees for a bit, before laying on the floor gently reminiscing with [the Eras Tour dancer Tori Evans]. Spent. We lived a lifetime. If you think it felt like graduation, it did.”

Earlier this week, it was revealed that Swift handed out $197 million in bonuses to her band, dancers, and an extensive list of crew members, from truck drivers and caterers to production staff and makeup artists. The Eras Tour itself brought in a total of $2,077,618,725 in ticket sales, the most of any tour in history.

“No more screaming lyrics with a perfect stranger who’s now your best friend,” Heller said of the tour. “No more Stage Right Obstructeds (my people). No more staring in awe at my family/friends who just moments ago were sharing a ridiculous joke, suddenly transformed into iconic titans, towering and thriving in the blinding lights. No more being called upon to dig the deepest I can, requiring the very best I am capable of.”

He added, “We watched it go from What If to How Will It Be to Here We Are to Almost Done to Done.”